Mitch is busy hiding out. See, last night every single Senate Republican (assisted by two Democrats and a traitor calling himself an “Independent”) filibustered the President’s Jobs Bill for no good reason except that Mitch and his golfing buddies don’t understand why you would want a job. If you really, really wanted one, they figure, as they fly over your foreclosed home with a smirk, you would have one.
The President even took his jobs bill and separated it into teeny, tiny parts to be voted on individually in order to accommodate the Republicans’ infamous refusal to read long bills. Last night Democrats were attempting to get a vote to bring the part that would fund teachers and first responders up for a vote. In case you’re wondering, that was a no.
But, lest you think Republicans are the party of no, they tried to force a vote on their own version of a jobs bill that would slash $30 billion from federal programs (I’m sure you can imagine what those programs are) just so they could whine that no one would play with them in their Randian sandbox. This “jobs bill” was one portion of the President’s jobs bill – a portion he put in to appeal to Republicans. See how they play?
Every single Republican voted no on the motion to bring a vote on part of the President’s jobs bill because they don’t want to spend $35 billion to hire more teachers and first responders or keep the already employed from being laid off.
Bad teachers. Bad firefighters. Bad, bad, bad! Oh, I kid, it’s not that Republicans hate teachers, it’s that they couldn’t bear the thought of the top 1% paying a 0.5% tax increase in order to fund these jobs. My heart weeps for the job creators. Who will stand up for them, against these assaults on their right to hoard money and not pay taxes? Get your violins ready, because this is just soooo sad:
“It’s hard to understand why Democrats would block this bipartisan effort to protect jobs — a provision of the president’s bill,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky, said in a statement after the vote. “I’ve said a number of times in recent days that the president doesn’t want Congress to pass his jobs bill; he wants to blame Republicans and use it on the campaign trail.”
Yes, but Mitch, but that’s not really what happened. And since when is the GOP for “protecting jobs”? I’m sick, not in a coma. Try it again Mitch.
How about if Mitch calls it “a government jobs bill”? Does that make it better? No, not really, because Mitch and the Gang have taxpayer-funded jobs. True, the difference is that theirs pay super well and then there’s the perks, including free healthcare for life. So the only difference I can see between an evil government job and a government job is that some of us don’t deserve jobs. You know who you are. You people, standing in line for hours just to fill out an application to work for a Koch Whore are simply not loved by God like Mitch and his friends are.
Too good for part-time at WalMart, eh? Republicans know that you’re really just going to buy some unnecessary item with that job, like insulin or something extravagant like working all month just to pay your mortgage. Shame on you! Don’t you people see how the other half is living, their jets downsized for appearances even as their bonuses doubled? You know nothing about sacrifices. Lazy cows.
Mitch added that the Obama Jobs Bill would “impose a permanent tax hike on about 300,000 U.S. business owners and then use the money to bail out cities and states that cannot pay their bills.”
Ohhhhhh……as if we were too big to fail. Yes, we can’t have that. And we certainly can’t have the very same corporations (aka:people) y’all FORCED us to bailout returning the favor. Oh, no. That would be so unfair.
Today the mean old Obama campaign told the American people to get on the phone and call little Lord Mitchy, in order to ask him why he won’t even allow a vote on the jobs bill. They wanted to hear from us after we made the call – how did it go, they wondered?
Since I have been dispatched to bed by fate but am finally feeling well enough to hit “call”, I had all day to try to call Mitch. All day, I tell you. But Mitch must be super important because his phone was busy. Forever busy.
So, I can’t really let the Obama campaign know how my call went because as usual, I couldn’t speak to the man making decisions for the entire country via petulant obstructionism from his Senate bunker at Fox News. We must be kind to little Lord Mitch, though. After all, the President has shown up the Republicans again with Libya and naturally, we must all pay for their painful but persistent cognitive dissonance screaming that they just might be, in fact, both incompetent and dangerously, expensively wrong about many things.
Republicans deserve pity, as they are no longer the party that can “protect America” and “keep us safe.” It’s been a long time since anyone trusted them with the economy. They don’t pay the bills they rack up when their guy is in power, so they’re no longer the party of responsibility let alone the party of fiscal conservatism. All they have now is hate: Muslims, gays, abortions, illegals. Sing it, people! It’s the Republican’s national anthem. Kinda has a ring to it.
Sure, they have Fox to help them, but you can see that their platform has narrowed down to a quickly melting sliver of ice and when examined, suggests that they are in point of fact a religious cult, rather than a political party. For Mitch, who is not as stupid as he appears and at times sounds, this has to be slightly embarrassing on the rare occasions that his thoughts get carried away and leak out of the carefully constructed Fox World.
Finding the Obama campaign script a bit too pleasant for my current frame of mind, I prepared a little script of my own, and since Mitch and the Republicans are too busy eating crow at their exclusive country clubs on our dime to pick up the phone, I’ll share it with you.
Dial: (202) 224-2541
Hi, this is Sarah Jones. I want to know why Mitch is filibustering the jobs bill and if he can tell the American people why, exactly, he is stealing their liberty out from under them while he lives off of their money?
(I expected at this juncture to be asked how a freedom lover like Mitch could be stealing liberty! Had I not seen his teabags?)
Why, no I haven’t seen them; I suspect their existence is rumor at best. As for the core issue, it may surprise you as his aide to discover that as Americans, we have inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Part of liberty is the opportunity to work for a living wage.
Mitch may wish to familiarize himself with the accepted notion that “liberty” does not refer to Mitch’s corporate sponsors or the Koch Brothers. “Liberty” refers to the people who pay his salary.
See, he works for us. So again, why is Mitch stealing liberty from the American people?
At this point I expected either the confused aide whose script doesn’t offer a convenient segue from theft of liberty to job creators or the belligerent aide whose aggression is as palpable as their ignorance; hence, I was prepared for this to be the inevitable end of our “discussion.”
What was I thinking?
I had forgotten that the people no longer get to have “discussions” with the royalists making decisions about how to spend our money.
Mitch McConnell, cowardly turtle of the Senate, won’t even answer his phone. I’m taking bets that it’s off the hook, unless Mitch is wasting our money by paying aides to stay on the phone all day, talking to their pets or dictating “op-eds” about job creators needing a break, what with the cost of fuel for private jets these days and then, let us not forget the Great Sacrifice of 2011 – the un-monogrammed leather seats some may have been forced to endure in their new yacht.
Fund a jobs bill with a .5% tax increase on the top one percent? Are you CRAZY? That’s socialism and we can’t have that, what with American Fascism working out so well for the top one percent! Just why exactly do you think we fought that Revolution anyway? For the rights and liberty of corporations, doh.
If you want to address the Democrats who joined the filibuster, their names are: Senator Ben Nelson (D-Nebraska), Senator Mark Pryor (D-Arkansas) and, of course, Senator Joe Lieberman, (I-Connecticut).