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1 Spread the Stupidity on Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:34 pm

rosco 357


Veteran
Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

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Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

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Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

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Only in America ... ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

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Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

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EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

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Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

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I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

2 Re: Spread the Stupidity on Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:48 pm

gypsy


Moderator
haha Those are so funny Rosco~ good ones!

3 Re: Spread the Stupidity on Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:51 pm

runawayhorses


Owner
Good stuff, some of that sounded like Carlin.

4 Re: Spread the Stupidity on Fri Sep 18, 2009 10:21 pm

SSC


Admin
Great one Rosco !!!

5 Re: Spread the Stupidity on Fri Sep 18, 2009 10:25 pm

Guest


Guest
(I love these things) Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. It is more sensible and secure to have delivery of drugs and storage of same at the back of the store.)
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Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. (Sugar sweetened sodas can contain as much as 42 grams of high calorie sweetener so there is some reduction,but it's still stupid)
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Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. (People don't casually rob banks like they walk off with pens)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. (Two totally unrelated issues. Cars are generally safe in the driveway because of anti-theft devices. Junk in the garage is an expression of consumerism. Carlin's "Stuff" theories covered this.I don't do this. That chainsaw I took apart 9 years ago is still immensely valuable))
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Only in America ... ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (Two unrelated factors. Hot dogs aren't usually eaten in multiples of 8 nor buns in multiples of 10)
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Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. (Banks in cities have mostly walk up business. The braille is required by federal law on all ATM machines)
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EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? (No, I don't. The kerotin in one's skin blocks sunlight. So does the kerotin in hair,but the hair you see is dead and the kerotin is no longer being replaced as it is being bleached by UV rays)
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Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? (For the same reason it's hard playing a guitar without holding "your mouth right". Ask Tyler)
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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? (Because there are no legitimate psychics. People who predict the future generally predict many things but only claim those that coincidentally come true.Their accuracy is no better than anyone's. If they were truly psychic,they wouldn't need to write books to make money)
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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? (For the same reason "ton" (tun) represents 2000 pounds)
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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? (Two reasons. 1.Ever since the days of Galen, medicine was considered a learning science needing constant practice. 2.Only treating surgeons,MD's, and PHD's working in their science "practice". Other PHD's just bloviate and teach)
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? (??? Lemon juice,by definition,is made with lemon juice)
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? (Why not? The word "broke" and "broker" are unrelated)
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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? (Everyone knows this. Should we call it the "involuntary siesta" hour?)
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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (Cats show no particular attraction to the taste of mice. They do like small things that run around and get their attention,smell or no smell)
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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? (Noah and the flood fable are fictional)
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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? (The needles thus used are kept in a sterile condition so as not to promote the growth of pathogens that can infect anyone nearby)
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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! (Planes made outta heavy gauge steel wouldn't be economical to fly)
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? (Wool,on the sheep,is coated in a heavy water repellent grease that must be removed before the wool can be spun.)
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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? (For the same reason they are called "attached housing" in England. They are attached but apart.)
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I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (The "con" in Congress and the "con" in conversely have the same root meanings attached to "converse with,discuss")
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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?. (Flight lobby would be better,wouldn't it?)

6 Re: Spread the Stupidity on Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:49 pm

runawayhorses


Owner
Excellent Moon.., Damn! you really know how to break things down so they make sense...very good..

7 Re: Spread the Stupidity on Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:35 am

Guest


Guest
These things are meant to be fun and that's the way I see 'em. You could skip my post and not miss a damn thing.

8 Re: Spread the Stupidity on Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:55 am

runawayhorses


Owner
meemoon wrote:These things are meant to be fun and that's the way I see 'em. You could skip my post and not miss a damn thing.
Yeah thats true, but I liked your comments to those.

9 Re: Spread the Stupidity Today at 11:23 am

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