My grandmother died in the 60's, but her birthday is coming up, and that
always causes me to reminisce . The long walks we used to take to the store
in town, the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds
or washing the sidewalk . . .
Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the
crown of grand motherly advice, occurred when I was only about 13 . We were
sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda bottles for
the deposit money on a beautiful spring day .
She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own
family . 'And always remember this thing,' she said . 'Be sure you marry a
woman with small hands . '
'How come, Grandma?' I asked her.
She answered in her soft Irish voice,
'Makes your dick look bigger.'
. . . . . Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?