'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life..'
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom wearing black?'
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words
on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,
she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
A police recruit was asked during the exam,
'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and
Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to
'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment
that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded,
'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing! Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh.. I thought you would enjoy this....times are tough right now...for all of us...so we need something to make the day a happy place. "They" haven't found a way to tax you for laughing yet.