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1 MAN TEST on Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:54 am



1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard

stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't

sucked back enough beer with the boys and have

spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups,

aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog,

but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never

scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it

uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think

about how you call a dog...'Killer, come here! I said

get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how

you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!'

Jeeez you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or

any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord.

A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws,

raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits.

Anything else and you are a Homo in training and

undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or

piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual

relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates
and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee,

you're as fairy as Tinkerbelle. A straight man will

NEVER be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If

you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've

had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard

colours or four different types of dessert other than

ice cream, cake, apple pie and pussey, you might as

well be handing out free ass passes. A real man

doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember

all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse

you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile

other than cotton, wool or denim, you are a peter


7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it,

you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts

both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed

driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he

needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a

hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your

e-mail list because you are afraid of hurting their

feelings, then you are definitely on the verge of being

a salami smuggler!

2 Re: MAN TEST on Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:45 pm


I just saw this , OMG it is tooo funny

3 Re: MAN TEST on Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:39 am


Me to(just saw)

good one Tyler!!

4 Re: MAN TEST on Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:14 pm


LOL thanks!

5 Re: MAN TEST Today at 2:00 am

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