Three Californian surgeons playing golf together were discussing surgeries they had performed.
One said, "I believe I'm the best surgeon in California. A favorite case in point: A concert pianist lost several fingers in an accident; I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
The second surgeon countered, "That's nothing compared to my accomplishment: A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident; I reattached them and two years later he won a gold medal in track and field events at the Olympics."
The third surgeon shocked them both with this: "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana. She rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's Speaker of the House."