If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a
cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will
instantly remove itself.
Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold while you chop.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by using
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your
veins. Remember to use timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you
hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct
Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Last edited by runawayhorses on Wed Jan 21, 2009 9:35 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : cleaned post of non relevant material)