I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
Two hill folk men from West Virginia were looking at a Sears
catalog and admiring the models.
One says to the other, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this
The second one replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at
The first one says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive.
At this price, I'm buying one."
The second one smiles and pats him on the back. "Good idea! Order one
and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one
Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, "Did you ever
receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?"
The second redneck replies, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got
her clothes yesterday!"
A man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of Viagra.
The doctor told him that he couldn't prescribe him a double dose.
"Why not?" asked the man.
"Because it's not safe," replied the doctor.
"But I need it really bad," said the man. "My girlfriend is coming
into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my
wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I must have a double
The doctor finally relented saying, "Okay, I'll give it to you, but
you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see
if there were any side effects."
On Monday, the man dragged himself in, his right arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, "What happened to you?"
The man said, "No one showed up...."