60 and heading towards 70!
01 Kidnappers are not very
Interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you
Are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,
Did I wake you?
05. People no longer view you
As a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left t o learn
The hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't
08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but
Not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments
About pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed
Limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your
Stomach in no matter who walks
Into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator
14. Your eyes won't get much
15. Your investment in health
Insurance is finally beginning
To pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with
Your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is
Finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who
Sent you this list.
Never, under any circumstances,
Take a sleeping pill and a laxative
On the same night.