A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade, and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade, also!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions, he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him, and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: What is three times three?
Principal: What is six times six?
And, so it went, with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know.
The principal looked at Ms. Brooks, and said, "I think Harry can go to the third grade."
Ms. Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks then asked, "What does a cow have four of, that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment, responded, "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants, that you have, but, I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps in to?"
Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a 'C,' ends with a 'T,' and is hairy, oval, delicious, and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
The principal sat forward, with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink, then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide, and, before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K,' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief, and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade. I got the last seven questions wrong."