Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. There are 5,000
types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Alabama . There are 10,000 types of
spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites. Onced and Twiced are words. It
is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy. People actually grow and eat okra.
'Fixinto' is one word. There is no such thing as 'lunch.'
There is only dinner and then there is supper. Iced tea is appropriate for all
meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea
with our sugar! Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about
you.' You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter
what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them. You measure distance in minutes.
Sometimes you have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same
day. 'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the
store.' All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal. You install security lights on your house
and garage and leave both unlocked. You know what a 'DAWG' is. You
carry jumper cables in your car . . .. For your OWN car. There are only four
spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup. The local papers cover national and
international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and
sports. The first day of deer season is a state holiday. 100 degrees
Fahrenheit 'a little warm.' We have four seasons: Almost Summer,
Summer, still Summer and Christmas. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time
known as 'goin' Wal-martin' or off to 'Wally World.' A cool
snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather. A carbonated soft drink
isn't a soda, cola or pop ... . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or
flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?' Fried catfish is the other
white meat. (Pork 's 1st) We don't need no stinking driver's Ed .
.. . If our mama says we can drive, we can drive.